No Choice Her Voice Can Take Me There...

Yes, I still get excited about upcoming Madonna products and projects. Early this week a preview for the upcoming official 2010 Calendar was released to no one's satisfaction. (No new pics, just photos from all her tours...that's now 2 calendars in a row that take a career retrospective in pictures).

Now we get the official track list for the upcoming Madonna "Celebration" hits collection DVD that's to be released on Sept. 29th.

Here's the track listing:

1) Burning Up
2) Lucky Star
3) Borderline
4) Like A Virgin
5) Material Girl
6) Crazy For You
7) Into The Groove
8) Live To Tell
9) Papa Don’t Preach
10) True Blue
11) Open Your Heart
12) La Isla Bonita
13) Who’s That Girl
14) Like A Prayer
15) Express Yourself
16) Cherish
17) Vogue
18) Justify My Love
19) Erotica
20) Deeper and Deeper
21) Rain
22) I’ll Remember
23) Secret
24) Take A Bow
25) Bedtime Story
26) Human Nature
27) I Want You
28) You’ll See
29) Frozen
30) Ray Of Light
31) The Power Of Good-Bye
32) Beautiful Stranger
33) American Pie
34) Music
35) Don’t Tell Me
36) What It Feels Like For A Girl
37) Die Another Day
38) Hollywood
39) Love Profusion
40) Hung Up
41) Sorry
42) Get Together
43) Jump
44) 4 Minutes
45) Give It 2 Me
46) Miles Away
47) Celebration

Notable missing videos are the rarely seen videos for "Everybody" and "Holiday". Both from her debut, but never shown on MTV during their heydays, these videos do exist, and can be YouTubed for viewing enjoyment. They were extremely low budget videos of her dancing with her backups.

"Gambler" - Never officially promoted, a video was created from the "Vision Quest" movie scene in which Madonna makes cameo.

The fully animated promo clip for the non United States single "Dear Jessie". Think the beginning of the movie "Who's That Girl" crossed with Walt Disney's "Fantasia" and you get this saccharine lullaby's video.

The David Fincher directed clips for "Oh Father" and "Bad Girl" were excluded. The exclusion of these videos is odd, as these are considered mini masterpieces by her fans. These are previously available on "The Immaculate Collection" and "The Video Collection 93:99" collections.

The oft forgotten video for "Fever" (which does appear on the "The Video Collection 93:99" release)

"This Used To Be My Playground" from the movie "A League Of Their Own". Not one of her best videos, but would be nice to have, as it is only available on the Special Edition DVD release of the movie.

The "Evita" videos ("You Must Love Me" and "Don't Cry For Me Argentina", even though this was really just an actual scene from the movie).

"Drowned World/Substitute For Love" - This video is also for one of her non United States singles, that drew controversy due to the Princess Diana like comparisons. Diana was tragically killed in a car crash while fleeing from paparazzi, the video depicts Madonna running from them as well. Considering one of her tours was named after this song, it's strange to see it left off.

"Nothing Really Matters" the "Memoirs of A Geisha" inspired clip is another video for a lesser known song, that had an amazing beautifully lensed video. Thankfully this and "Drowned World..." appear on "TVC 93:99"

"American Life" - Both the edited and non edited version are missing. This video drew criticism because it was shot in the aftermath of the Dixie Chicks backlash and showed scenes of war, destruction, and anti Bush sentiments. Madonna first declared her freedom of artistic expression and defended the video, but then changed her mind and released an edited version that features her singing in front of a backdrop of ever-changing flags of different countries. Still unavailable to this day on any official Madonna product, even though Warner Bros. stated it was going to be an extra on the "I'm Going To Tell You A Secret" DVD.

Considering how many great videos Madonna has made, the tracklisting is pretty incredible. A lot of the videos are not available on DVD ("Erotica", "Deeper And Deeper" "I Want You") so it is nice to be getting them, although I wish more of the rarities would have been made available.

Like It Or Not...

Aside from putting out a box set with every single release, a Madonna hits compilation will never completely satisfy the legions of fans.

Here is the official tracklisting of the two disc set:

DISC ONE
1. "Hung Up"
2. "Music"
3. "Vogue"
4. "4 Minutes"
5. "Holiday"
6. "Like a Virgin"
7. "Into the Groove"
8. "Everybody"
9. "Like a Prayer"
10. "Ray of Light"
11. "Sorry"
12. "Express Yourself"
13. "Open Your Heart"
14. "Borderline"
15. "Secret"
16. "Erotica"
17. "Justify My Love"
18. "Celebration"

DISC TWO
1. "Dress You Up"
2. "Material Girl"
3. "La Isla Bonita"
4. "Papa Don't Preach"
5. "Lucky Star"
6. "Burning Up"
7. "Crazy For You"
8. "Who's That Girl"
9. "Frozen"
10. "Miles Away"
11. "Take a Bow"
12. "Beautiful Stranger"
13. "Hollywood"
14. "Die Another Day"
15. "Don't Tell Me"
16. "Live to Tell"
17. "Cherish"

18. "Revolver"

34 hits and 2 new tracks ("Celebration" and "Revolver"). As far as this tracklisting goes, I think it's pretty spot on, but I, like everyone else, think there are some glaring omissions from her earlier days.

"Angel" - If five(!) tracks from "MADONNA-The First Album" are here, then surely all four from "LIKE A VIRIGIN" should be here as well. Having said that, with both "Crazy For You" and "Into The Groove" on here (which many casual fans throw and categorize into this era) I can see why one of the "LAV" singles was omitted. Personally, I always preferred "Angel" to "Dress You Up", but having no proper video is a detriment to "Angel". ("DYU", at least, had the "Virgin Tour" performance video.)

"True Blue" - Yes the least memorable song from "TRUE BLUE", but still a Top 3 hit. Perhaps, memories of Sean Penn hit her harder then we realize, thus this song being punished, yet again. Plus there is always that nagging issue of which video to use on the DVD, the sweet and inspired fan made MTV contest winner that does not actually feature M? Or the cheesy 50s inspired video featuring a guest appearance by Debi Mazar?

"Causing A Commotion" - Debatedly the more likable of the "WHO"S THAT GIRL" singles, "Causing a Commotion" is, perhaps, Madge's most dated sounded single. Still anything left off of "THE IMMACULATE COLLECTION" deserves to be spotlighted elsewhere.

"Keep It Together" After "Oh Father" failed to crack the Top 5 (thus breaking her record setting 16 consecutive Top 5 hits), Madonna and Warner wisely remixed "Keep It Together" to sound like "It-Group" Soul lI Soul's hits "Keep On Movin'" and "Back To Life". Madonna's ode to family landed her back in the Top 10 after the disappointing performance of "Oh Father" (#20 Peak).

"This Used To Be My Playground" - A #1 hit in the summer of 1992, though largely overlooked for her other soundtrack ballad, 1994's "I'll Remember" (also missing from this hits set), "TUTBMP" is probably considered too languid for a Hits Collection titled "CELEBRATION".

"Deeper And Deeper" Considered a fan favorite, "Deeper And Deeper", almost made many forget about the SEX drenched "EROTICA" and brought Madonna back home to the dancefloor where she belonged. However, the damage was done, and with the "SEX" book, and the "Body Of Evidence" movie looming overhead, any subsequent singles from "Erotica" were doomed from the get go. Which brings us to...

"Rain" - Why this sonic masterpiece is not included is baffling. This is Madonna at her exquisite best. The song is lush, radiant, and gorgeous. After "Bad Girl" received a chilly response at radio, "Rain" the song, and accompanying, stunning video reversed her misfortunes and almost single handedly erased all the bad press of the "EROTICA" era. Almost. The track performed better than "Bad Girl" but still missed the Top 10, landing at #14.

So with these 6 tracks left off, not to mention there's nothing representing her "EVITA" period ("You Must Love Me" and "Don't Cry For Me Argentina"), what would I cut to put them in?

"Everybody" - Yes it was her first single, but only the die hards know that. "Holiday" was her first proper hit.

"Sorry" - Sorry, but even though "CONFESSIONS ON A DANCE FLOOR" is one of her best albums, two tracks is one too many. "Hung Up" is the only song people know from that album. As much as I love "Sorry" (favorite track on the album), it doesn't deserve a spot on here.

"Dress You Up" - I'd swap this for "Angel" any day.

"Hollywood" - Probably her worst choice of single, ever. Nothing from "AMERICAN LIFE" should be represented on here. It would be like Mariah Carey putting her "GLITTER" era stuff on her hits set. Let's call a bomb a bomb and leave it at that. (Don't get me wrong, I like a lot of the "AMERICAN LIFE" stuff, but commercially it failed).

"Die Another Day" - With the far superior "Beautiful Stranger" included on here, why include a second theme song to a British super spy's movie? The frollicking free spirited "BS" is easier on the ears, than this staccata laced epilepsy causing seizure machine.

"Miles Away" - Why is this even here? The song is literally miles away from being considered a hit. The one "HARD CANDY" track, "4 Minutes" is enough.

You Know You're Getting Old When...

you prefer to watch drama movies, as opposed to comedies or action pics. Seeing the trailer for "The Time Traveler's Wife" made me realize this, as I cannot wait to see it.

I used to be a strictly chick flick and horror movies type of gay guy. But for the past few years, I have looked forward to the Oscar bait drama movies and usually prefer them to the latest blockbuster gross out comedy or comic book action flick. As a child/teen/young adult I always veered away from dramas, but now that I am older I can appreciate the emotional gravitas of "grown up movies". In the past few years, my favorite movies have been dramas, "A Walk To Remember" "The Notebook" and "Atonement".

I think "Titanic" opened the door for younger people to start watching and enjoying dramas. As I can't remember ever enjoying a drama before that.

Is it really a sign of getting older and maturing, or are the comedies and action flicks just too boring and predictable to be enjoyable anymore?

Shows You Should Be Watching...But Probably Aren't.

"Drop Dead Diva" on Lifetime. Take on Part "Legally Blonde", one part "Freaky Friday", and a dash of "Hairspray" and you get this delightfully funny dramedy.

Newcomer Brooke Elliott shines as a plus sized lawyer, Jane, who "died" and who's body is inhabited by a vapid self centered model, Deb, upon an untimely death. The body switch allows Deb to live through Jane's body all the while retaining Jane's heart and smarts. The snappy dialogue and hilarious supporting cast, including Margaret Cho, elevate "Drop Dead Diva" above the could've been cliché premise.

With this, and the upcoming season of the long awaited "Project Runway", Lifetime (Television for Women and Gay Men) may just become the new BRAVO.

___________________

"Royal Pains" on USA. A medical drama for people who don't like medical dramas. Set not in a Hospital or ER, "Royal Pains" takes place in the Hamptons, after a disgraced and fired doctor (Mark Feuerstein) takes on the unlikely task of on call concierge doctor to the rich and famous. Supported by his brother (Paulo Costanzo from "Joey") and a smart and sassy Physician Assistant (Reshma Shetty) the medical cases they come upon week after week are intriguing and plausible.

The show is both funny and warm, and shows lots of promise.

So there you have it, two shows you should be watching, but probably aren't. Here's your wake up call.

35 Is The New...

Saturday Night.

In the past few years, I've changed. A lot. I used to look forward to and like to go out on Saturday nights, mainly because I liked to dance and meet up with friends, but now I'd rather sit at home and just watch TV by myself. I don't know if it's because Harrisburg's gay nightlife has gotten boring, if it's because I really don't enjoy drinking and getting drunk anymore, if it's because most of my friends are younger and still into the bar/club scene, or maybe it's that I've just grown up.

To me, at the age of 35, going out to the bar every weekend just reeks of desperation. Getting drunk every weekend reeks of desperation, and immaturity. I didn't want to become "That Guy". You know, the one that is at the bar every weekend, even sometimes during the week, hanging out with people 10 years their junior and clinging to their youth. We all see him, we all make fun of him. We all are destined to become him. Well, not me.

35 is the new Saturday Night.

So Over It.

Here are a few things that I'm so over and tired of hearing or hearing about...

1. Lady Ga(g)ga(g) - Yeah, I get it you're unique. You're also trying way to hard to be unique. But c'mon the Kermit outfit, the lampshade, and your undying devotion to Perez Hilton, it's just too much blech for me to stomach. Put on some jeans and a T-Shirt and then I'll consider putting you back on my iPod.

2. Twilight: The Series. So sick of hearing that Robert Pattinson took a pee, Kristen Stewart scowled on set, and that Stephenie Meyer is a Mormon. Yes, Vampires are the New Black, but with "True Blood" doing it 100 times sexier, scarier, and better, "Twilight-ers" can literally, suck it.

3. FML. The overuse and inappropriateness of "FML" turning up everywhere, from Twitter to Facebook, and everywhere in between. I spilled coffee on myself the other week, but didn't feel the need to label it a FML moment. And you getting caught in traffic, because someone else may have been injured in a car accident is not one either. Buck up and deal with it.

4. Michael Jackson jokes. Yes, he was eccentric, yes he looked like crap the past few years. But don't act like he didn't create some of the most memorable music and videos ever. The pedophile jokes are tactless and by repeating them, it just goes to show that you are too. I actually deleted a friend from Facebook because they were posting a new "joke" every five minutes. Needless to say the jokes stopped.